so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
