Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
