Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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