i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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