fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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