i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
