New invention idea: vibrating tampons
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize