Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
