I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
