Do vagina's smell?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
