thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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