Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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