I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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