so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
