I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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