He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
