Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
