found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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