nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
