Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
