I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
