I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
