that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
