yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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