god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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