talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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