dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
