I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize