im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
