jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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