so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
