Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
