time to smoke my breakfast
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
