pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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