So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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