On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
