Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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