idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
