Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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