i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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