Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
