Say something about gay babies.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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