Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
