Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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