do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
