based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
