I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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