I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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