She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
