Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
