this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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