Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
