Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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