the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize