my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
