these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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