i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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