I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
