You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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