were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She bit a glass in half.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
