I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
