I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
