He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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