I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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