Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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