I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize