Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
