did you get engaged???
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
