Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
