absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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