i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
please come you make the beer taste better
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
