I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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